BY DR. DAN PETERS

“Can we get Butter Beer?!,” my daughter says with a big smile on her face. It’s 9am, of course we can have Butter Beer! We are on an adventure at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter world at Universal Studios. “Can we go to Ollivanders wand shop?…Can we go to the candy store?”

I realize this is a special moment. I am aware I need to cherish this day…

Standing at the gates of Diagon Alley was purely magical. I was taken back to my own childhood of experiencing Disneyland and watching our children experience Disneyland for the first time. My daughter was “all in” as she soaked up every moment. “Can we go into all the stores?” “Sure,” I responded. “Can we come back and look later?” “Sure,” I said. “Can we stay until it closes?” “Yes,” I said.

I want to slow down time. I want this day to last. I know this is temporary…

We were having a “daddy-daughter” adventure. We used to have “family adventures” which the kids were completely excited about, but as they have gotten older, the adventures seem to be more tolerated than anticipated. We also have a tradition of one-on-one adventures. Our youngest still is excited about them, and judging by our experience with the other two, I know this is time limited.

Take it all in. Don’t let your mind wander. Be here…

When I asked her if she wanted to join me on a business trip and miss a day of school she said, “No thank you.” When I said the next day we would be going to Harry Potter world, her mouth dropped. The excitement started a month ago and I was watching it happen in front of my eyes. I tried hard to hold on to every moment. The older I get, the faster the moments go. The older I get, the more aware I am of how quickly time passes and our kids grow. There is no going back. There is only now and what is in front of us.

Breathe it in. Keep your phone in your pocket. Don’t lose a moment…

As we walked and walked, waited and waited, and picked our snacks and drinks, I was aware that this time together was a gift, and the gift was temporary. At the same time, while this time together at Harry Potter world was temporary, our relationship and the memories we were making were and are permanent. I flashed on the little girl being carried everywhere to the one planning our itinerary, being independent, talking to people in line, and being a wonderful adventurer and travel companion.

How did she grow so fast? Where did the time go? Stay focused on now…

The day wore on, and we walked and waited, walked and waited, and walked and waited. Her energy was rising and mine was declining. “Can we…can we…can we…?,” she kept asking with an enthusiastic smile. My thoughts said, “Well, I think we have had enough time here,” but my mind fortunately stepped in and continued to say, “Sure.” Twelve hours later we were back in our hotel room having conquered Universal Studios.

I wish it wasn’t over. It went too fast. Focus on your time now. You are still together…

It has become a cliché to say and hear that life is only a collection of moments. There is a well know poem from an elderly woman who when asked what she wished for at the end of her life, replied, “more moments.” It is true. I tried to keep this is my mind as our adventure unfolded, and we waited for our dinner.

I am glad they are taking a long time. I am enjoying the night that is slipping away…

As I sit in my office with our adventure in the past, I find myself smiling from the pictures in my mind (and on my phone) and realize how difficult it is to appreciate the moments during the grind of daily life. These moments, while often not filled with wonder, are the same moments that I experienced at Harry Potter world. I realize how grateful I should be for having moments — as so many we know have been told their moments are limited.

I am grateful for our adventure. I am grateful for this day…

I am aware that I can choose to how I experience and appreciate my moments and that I have an obligation to choose how I experience and help shape the moments of our children while they are with us. I can choose to engage with them; I can choose to sit in silence with them; I can choose to correct them; I can choose to comment on something they said; and I can choose to let them be who they are. All are important choices.

Try to make the moments positive. Give them their space. Let them be who they are…

As parents, sometimes we need to say “no” and other times we can choose to say “yes.” No matter how difficult a situation or phase we are going through, it is made of moments; moments that will pass. I can’t wait for the next adventure, yet I am aware the adventure is in the present — moment by moment.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. Seize the opportunity to connect. Don’t over-parent…

Teach your children about their moments. Show them how to enjoy them. Share the moments together. When they pass, enjoy the next one…

This piece first appeared on Medium.
PHOTO: Credit: Pixabay, used with permission